After about 5 months of being silent on my blog, I’m finally back. To say these last few months have been crazy is an absolute understatement to the point where I don’t even know where to begin with this post.
Before I took my hiatus, I shared that Erik and I started a long distance relationship and I’m happy to say that it was by far the best thing that’s happened to us. It was a crapshoot in the beginning (as expected) but we learned so much about one another throughout those 7 months which I’m really grateful for. We learned how to communicate with one another, be more supportive to one another and most importantly be present when we were together because we only had a few days a month to do so. I’m even happier to say that I packed my bags up in Boston, hopped in my car and moved to New York but I definitely have a lot more to share before I get into the details on this one.
My lease in Boston ended on August 31st. I didn’t want to sign another lease in Boston because they’re basically all 12 months and I started getting so comfortable with Boston that I wanted a change. I’ve always wanted to move away for a few years before I settled back down in New England. I’ve always known that I want to buy a house right next to my family but I wanted to get out of my hometown for a little bit before doing so and that’s what I strived to do. It certainly helped that Erik had already moved but I had to make sure I moved when I was ready to move, and that’s exactly what I did.
Getting back to my lease ending in August…I moved back to my parents house about 45 minutes north of Boston and started commuting into the city 5 days a week. I absolutely loved moving back home. If you know me, you know I’m obsessed with my parents. I am so close to them so the thought of moving home and being able to spend more time with them while I figured out my next move made me really happy. The downside of this was that my job was not flexible whatsoever about my commute so my commute + workday went from 9 hours a day to 13/14ish hours a day 5 days a week. Needless to say, I burnt out quickly and knew I was ready for that change so I started researching new jobs. I knew I wanted a to work for a company that treated their employees well, great benefits, good work/life balance and flexibility. I researched for months because I didn’t want to settle. When I tell you that I read thousands of Glassdoor reviews, I’m not joking. I researched, researched and researched some more. The last thing I wanted to do was settle at a place that I wasn’t happy with. I learned that where you work effects your everyday life greatly so you might as well enjoy it!
Fast forward to November, I started applying. I was so specific about where I applied to that I only ended up submitting my resume to about 5 places. It was the beginning of November and as the holidays started getting closer, I got this urge to make a goal to land a job before Christmas so I can surprise Erik. Once I made that goal for myself, I kept envisioning the outcome and got so excited by it that I kept chugging away until it happened. I started interviewing in the beginning of December and was very grateful to have gotten a great offer from a company that I’m really proud to be working for. I accepted the offer right before Christmas and was able to surprise Erik in front of his family. This will definitely be one of my favorite memories for many reasons. I was able to accomplish a hard goal I set for myself and I was able to surprise someone who has been so incredible to me these past 3 years. It sounds all well and good now but holy cannoli was that the toughest secret I ever had to keep. (Side note, we had many conversations about us moving in with one another so it wasn’t a total shock to him and he knew I had an interview, I just told him I didn’t get the job when I really did 😉 )
Anyway, I quit my job in Boston a few days before Christmas and ended just after the new year. I was really happy with the timing because I was able to start 2018 off with a lot of new changes which I revolved my resolutions around. I moved to New York one week into the New Year and have been chugging away ever since. I’m currently going through the motions of living with a significant other, living away from home, starting a new job, living in an area where I have no friends, living in an area I’m not comfortable in, adjusting to new surrounds, etc. I’ll do another post on all those details but for now, I’m just trying to get settled.
Now, why did I leave White & Beige in the dark this whole time? It’s something I’ve grappled with and I guess I don’t really know. I started a blog thinking that I would update it constantly with everything going on in my life but when my life started getting really busy (13 hour work days, etc.) I had zero energy. For those few months, my life was work and I now know to never make that mistake again. I wasn’t happy working like that whatsoever and it completly drained my energy. All I did was wake up wicked early, eat, go to work, come home, eat, go to bed. I had no time for anything and couldn’t even think about opening up my computer.
I’m not sure if anyone noticed but I did also delete my White & Beige instagram. I think I’ll go into a post about further details but I honestly just got tired of it. I didn’t feel like it was me. I felt like there was so much pressure to post and if I didn’t post, I would lose a bunch of followers and if I didn’t like and comment on other peoples stuff, I wouldn’t get anything back, etc. It wasn’t why I started White & Beige and was bringing me down more than it was exciting me. Again, I’ll go into further details about this but there’s the short answer for now.
As to what to expect from here on out? I’ve done a lot of thinking about this blog and why I started it and realized that I never really followed through with why I started it. I got so hung up on thinking I could be a full time blogger one day, etc. that I ended up burning myself out. So from here on out, I want to maintain this as a channel that I can look back on and remember what I was doing at this time in my life. I don’t want to worry about promoting posts, posting the right thing, re-reading my posts 300 times to make sure everything spelled right, feeling insecure about what I post, etc. I want to post whatever I’m in the mood to post and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I want to remember where I was at 24 and what I was interested in, what I was doing, where I was going. I don’t want to look back and read about the price of my shorts or where I bought them. I want my family and friends to see what I’m doing and be able to follow along with me. Needless to say, I’ll be giving White & Beige a little makeover to assure that it’s clear on what this blog is about.
And on that note, goodnight 🙂